Last Monday, September 9, 2019, our guest speaker, Michelle Alcantara, held a lecture entitled Ikaw + Ako + Siya = Tayo: Makakapwang Paglilingkod Tungo sa Makabuluhang Pagbabago. As the title indicates, the presentation was about the self and how we relate to others — about our sense of identification with one another, described by the word “malay-kapwa.” She emphasized the importance of knowing and accepting the identity of others (pagkilala at pagtanggap ng pagkatao ng iba), how similar and different we are, being makakapwa. This can be achieved through perspective-taking, pakikisalamuha or interacting with others, opening up, being vulnerable, and forming deep connections with them, and avoiding judging and categorizing.
Because we tend to categorize people, as either a “close other” or a “distant other,” this forms a bigger gap between us and others, separating us further away from them. We treat people from each category differently; we are more comfortable with the “close other,” we exhibit positive affect towards them and have a high degree of similarity with them, whereas with the “distant other,” we are — as the term indicates — more distant with them, have less similarity with them, and at most, only civil towards them.
Ms. Alcantara emphasized in her lecture that not all identities are created equal. This is true and can be observed in our society today. We aren’t born with the same privileges as everyone else. Some are rich, while some are poor. Their social economic status affects the options available to them and the decisions they are allowed to make in their lives. This was interestingly shown in a fun game, the Power Walk. Volunteers assumed identities, and for each situation given to them, they stepped forward. The more affluent of them, as well as the ones who were just the right age and weren’t discriminated against in society, definitely walked farther than the ones who weren’t.
In society, the privileged are the ones who are the dominant identity. They control the structure, which then becomes a necessity for them, and so maintain it since they benefit from it. They have the power. The opposite can be said of the marginalized. Because of this, the difference manifests in each group’s way of thinking, feeling, and acting. The marginalized develop learned helplessness.
The thing to take away from all of this is that to serve others effectively, we must be sensitive to their identities. Interestingly enough, this is also taught in my anthropology class. It’s the same here. We must never judge another’s culture through a context outside of their own culture. To understand someone else, we must live their lives, basically adapt to their culture. We can’t judge them with our standards, because we are all different. But despite this difference, we can understand each other and form a genuine connection by being mindful and sensitive of each other’s identities.